Saturday, February 19, 2011

Active Parenting - Quantiy v/s Quality time!

19th Feb'11 marks a significant step towards some serious value add to XSEED Preschool parents. XSEED Preschool (XPS) PVC team put up a special session for the preschool parents with Dr. Rachna Singh, a parent psychologist. Just the effort of putting up this session amidst all the annual function preparation & time crunch faced by the mentors & the acting Principal Anjana makes me sit up and applaud. Kudos!

On my way to XPS, a lot of thoughts played on my mind. How will the session go? Will the expert connect? How many parents will turn up? The first sight of many vehicles parked just outside the park view campus relaxed me on some counts. While i stepped in the XPS premises, the new security guard made an impression by doing a thorough job & sanitizing my hands. I noticed Miloni, Bobby and Anindita among children just about begining a story telling session. Soon after i walked to the community centre and took a seat behind. With close to 25 engrossed parents, the session had begun.

Anjana had clearly done a lot of research on the expert, Rachna Singh a seasoned psychologist from Escorts Heart Hospital & Artemis came across as hands on and made a solid connect with the parents throughout. The session started with a settling in drill for all parents followed by an informal interaction with parents around their concerns. Next, it dwelved into various parenting styles, the changing environment & culminated with some fabulous role plays from parents.

I'm sharing some key statements and moments here in no necassary sequence.

a)What has changed today compared to the times when we were growing up!
-Joint family is amiss todaywhile we grew up with chacha chachis and bhaiya, didis, our children don't have the extended family support
-children are perpetually busy with electronic gadgets and hardly seen in outdoors with nature like our times
- Children have too many choices on their behest today, right from what do they eat, to clothes, to toys & so on so forth
-Father today needs to be a friend compared to an authoritarian cum FYI character in yester times
- Going out for a meal used to be a big occassion, once a month at best compared to now when we almost take our children out to malls almost every weekend

b) Some common parent concerns & suggested tips by the expert
- If not given what he wants, my child revolts, holds his breath, cries incessantly, throws things. What do i do?
Tip- Use diversion as a tactic, be assertive, take a time out.
-I have twins, one is demanding and the other is equally giving? there is a clear imbalance. what do i do?
Tip- Talk to both your children and discuss with instances and role model the behaviour you would like to inculcate in your young one
-My son is obsessed with cars/cranes. Is there something wrong
Tip-Nothing at all, just be observant, its a fad which may change with times to come
-My child doesn't share his toys even with his best friend whereas his best friend shares his.what do i do?
Tip- Have a discussion with your child and help him realise that his behaviour is unruly and how his friend may also behave similarly and they both would then miss out on a good time together if he doesn't share his toys.
-My son imitates some of the cartoon characters and hits and throws things. what do i do?
Tip-Don't pay too much attention nor react while your child imitates. also, moderate you child's media habits.

c)Some very powerful statements
- Treat your child like an adult
- Your child is a reflection of your own behaviour
- Consistency in parenting styles between the two parents and over a period is crucial for your child's overall growth
- Conflicting parenting attitudes between husband and wife can result into a confused child
- It's important to have both, Quantity as well as Quality time
- It's important to have a separate time between you and your spouse without the child
-The first 3 months after the delivery of your child should always be prioritized with the mother in centre. Only when a mother is in her best emotional health can she raise a child well.

d) Some interesting moments
- Anuj's portrayal of a 4 year old
- Mothers definitely were attentive, but some great and active participation from fathers in the group
- Overall a highly interactive session

My personal key takeaway was
"Consistency in parenting attitude & styles is crucial to a child's overall growth"

Great initiative Anjana, Shafi, Amrinder, Ajit & the entire XPS team at PVC.

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